★ 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 4 ★

★Rockin' Mama★  is whoring her 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  

Today's topic is: What do you lie about the most?

I can bullshit the hind leg offa donkey to strangers - Bazinga! No True's Nuts!  I even have a saying for it that everyone rags me about.  "Lying Toad".  I can't even remember where I picked it up or who I'm heard it from first.

Anyhoozer, Lying to people I know and who know me well, I can't do it.  I KNOW there is a certain "look" I get when I lie and even I know when I pull "The Face".  

The instant I do it I feel it there - like a beacon for all to see. Its like an alarm going off: 

"Beep! Beep! Beep!  

Look at me I'm lying through my teeth.  

Beep! Beep! Beep!  

Yeah Fuckers, this is the "The Lying Face" can you see it?  

Beep! Beep! Beep! 

You've noticed haven't you? 

 Beep! Beep! Beep! 

You're now going to tell every one I'm lying aren't you?  

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Lying Bitch!

So, Plonkers I avoid lying to my close friends and family about stuff because I'm not very good at it.  I know I'll get caught or I know if they don't say anything, that they're just being polite and avoiding confronting me about it.  They will then go and tell their friends that I lied and spread the word that I'm a Lying Fucking Toad!

Then again this is the Bullshit Challenge, isn't it?

Dont forget to enter this week's Caption My Freak Photo Competition #12

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★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 2★

★Rockin' Mama★  and a bunch of other fucking awesome bloggers are doing the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  Day 2's topic is Your first experience with alcohol.

Check out the Days topics here and go link up.

My first experience with alcohol? I actually don’t remember that. Mum always had wine in the house and we were always offered a glass, well I don’t think we were offered, we just took, so I don’t really remember abusing alcohol until my late teens. However, I do remember my first experience with the Doobie Crunchies. Yeah, the good old marujana...

It think it was my sister’s 21st so I was probably 18 and all the usual headbangers and their bitches were invited. I arrived late for the party for some reason and my boyfriend and I made a bee line for the kitchen to pour our cheap plonk wine into presentable glasses to make us feel suitably grown up.

It was then that I noticed the freshly baked crunchies on a pretty plate on the kitchen counter. I fucking love crunchies! I have never been able to resist them.

I popped one in my mouth and we went to join the others. After girating my body for a bit and almost dislocating my neck to Slayer, I went back to the kitchen to get a wine refill. Its thirsty work, headbanging and avoiding the mosh pit.

I then spotted the plate of crunchies that was freshly filled up. I popped another one in my mouth and put another one in my pocket. Soon, I was going back quite regularly to the kitchen, not to refill my wine glass, but to munch down on the yummy crunchies.

About an hour later, I was puzzled as to how I could be THIS pissed on two glasses of wine?! While I was pondering that, I got the giggles. I then go the munchies. Then I got the giggles again. Vicious circle! I don’t remember much after giggling and munching like a maniac but apartently I had a really great time, dancing the night away.

My sister only told me years later that the crunches were “green loaded” and contained quite a lot of weed. No wonder I had such a bad hangover the next day.



Check out Day 1

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