★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 5 ★

★Rockin' Mama★  and a bunch of awesome bloggers (including moi) are doing the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  

Day 5's topic is:  If I could change one thing about myself it would be____.

Check out the other topics here and go link up.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be my lack of patience. 

I have a short fuse, a very short fuse. In fact I don’t think I have a fuse at all. My temper combusts instantly, it explodes with no warning. 

However, just as quick as I have flown into my rage, hurling four letter words at top volume, the unfortunate recipient of my wrath has been blasted; it just as quickly dissolves and disappears.

The problem with this being that, the aftermath is much more damaging to the shattered people who have witnessed “The Big Bang”. They are standing with mouths agape and I expect them to accept my apologies and requests for forgiveness before they’ve even realised the sharpness of the pain I have caused.

I often feel that once I have apologised for my explosion, it can promptly be left in the past and I can move on.

This is selfish.

I know I need to take a step back and realise the magnitude of my eruptions. I wish I could know this before “The Big Bang” has happened. I wish I could monitor and gage when it is about to happen so that I can ring a fucking huge ass bell and warn myself to hold my tongue and censor words.

Can you change your general disposition?

Can you educate the art of patience to someone like me?

If you don't have the answers to these questions, go caption this week's Freaky Photo Competition #12

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★ 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 4 ★

★Rockin' Mama★  is whoring her 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  

Today's topic is: What do you lie about the most?

I can bullshit the hind leg offa donkey to strangers - Bazinga! No True's Nuts!  I even have a saying for it that everyone rags me about.  "Lying Toad".  I can't even remember where I picked it up or who I'm heard it from first.

Anyhoozer, Lying to people I know and who know me well, I can't do it.  I KNOW there is a certain "look" I get when I lie and even I know when I pull "The Face".  

The instant I do it I feel it there - like a beacon for all to see. Its like an alarm going off: 

"Beep! Beep! Beep!  

Look at me I'm lying through my teeth.  

Beep! Beep! Beep!  

Yeah Fuckers, this is the "The Lying Face" can you see it?  

Beep! Beep! Beep! 

You've noticed haven't you? 

 Beep! Beep! Beep! 

You're now going to tell every one I'm lying aren't you?  

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Lying Bitch!

So, Plonkers I avoid lying to my close friends and family about stuff because I'm not very good at it.  I know I'll get caught or I know if they don't say anything, that they're just being polite and avoiding confronting me about it.  They will then go and tell their friends that I lied and spread the word that I'm a Lying Fucking Toad!

Then again this is the Bullshit Challenge, isn't it?

Dont forget to enter this week's Caption My Freak Photo Competition #12

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